HomeCalendarGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
We have moved and changed our name and look, check out the new

Chaos Mafia Website


Share | 
 

 Relationship Tactics

Go down 
AuthorMessage
x_shadowhawk_x
Pack Officer
Pack Officer
avatar

Posts : 104
Join date : 2010-06-20
Age : 39
Location : Jackson, MO

PostSubject: Relationship Tactics   Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:57 am

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either ….but at least that she knows I’m smarter than her.



---Join the chat to see what we are talking about---
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
Relationship Tactics
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Endgame Tactics
» Free chess tactics training site
» TACTICS: mission specific
» [New] Tactics and Endgames EPD collections
» Android free app for tactics training

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Demon Dog News :: Jokes-
Jump to: